How to get anything you want in life – 5 important steps
“It is not what we get, but who we become, what we contribute…that gives meaning to our lives.” —Tony Robbins
In order to create our life the way we want it to be, we first need to be able to picture our future. Having a vision means that we have something to work towards. A vision is like a star that keeps us on track and helps us move forward. If we don’t have a star that guides us through the tough times, we end up fumbling our way through the night, hoping that we’ll end up in a good place, without having a clue of where we are and where we are heading,
How to get anything you want in life depends on what you put out to the Universe, how much you want it and how dedicated you are to work hard towards it.
Ask for what you want – set goals
When you want something – ask for it. Be clear on what you want and how you’re going to get there. Talk about you plans and your goals to yourself and to other people. The more you talk about it, the more you visualise it, the more likely you are to get it.
Write down your goals and be specific. Use the SMART goals template, a great tool to use that will help you succeed in accomplishing your goals.
Writing is a powerful tool that I have used all my life. It’s incredible when I look back on the goals and dreams that I wrote one year ago, two years ago and five years ago.
Real life example 1: In high school I had a dream of going to Australia and living overseas. I wrote it down and kept visualising how it would be like…and here I am, living in Australia since 7 years back.
Real life example 2: When I was single, I once wrote down the things that I wanted in a partnership and how I wanted my ideal partner to be/look like. I tell you what – most of the things that I wished for came true!
Real life example 3: In 2014, my partner and I were looking for a house to rent. I wrote down exactly what I wanted it to look like, e.g. white house with a garden, three rooms, wooden floors, a 5 min walk to the beach etc. Guess what? It all came true.
Ask for help
A few years ago I bought a book called The Art of Asking: how I learned to stop worrying and let people help by Amanda Palmer. This book taught me a great deal about asking for help and how powerful it is when you do.
So many people are afraid to ask for help, which can easily lead to the breaking down of relationships, of trust and of personal health and wellbeing.
The Western way of thinking is that we should be able to do everything ourselves, from washing and cleaning to paying the bills, raise kids, renovate the house, fix the car and so on.
My personal experience of asking someone for help is that there are a couple of amazing things that happen:
1. When asking someone for help, we give the other person the opportunity to GIVE.
2. TRUST develops between people and relationships get stronger.
It’s a give and take process
When we ask someone for help, we should also figure out how we can help and how we can create value for the other person. To give is actually very rewarding. The more we give, the more we will get back.
The person we meet today may be the person who will help you tomorrow.
Keep you goal and your vision in mind, but don’t expect anything, don’t expect to get what you want straight away. It may take a long time, sometimes years for something to materialise, which is something that I’ve personally experienced many times.
Stick with it – focus on your goals
No matter how difficult and challenging it may seem to get where you want to be, make sure you always keep your eyes on the goal. Never let the negative environment and limiting beliefs stop you from getting what you want.
Once, during the most challenging chapter of my partner’s PhD journey, I told him a story:
Four frogs decided to climb a mountain. Once they started climbing, the people at the foot of the mountain kept shouting and screaming for them to come back: “What do you think you are doing?! Frogs can’t climb, get back down here!”
One frog slipped back down the mountain, but the others kept on climbing. However, the people kept on shouting: “Come back here you silly frogs! Don’t you realise that climbing is not for YOU!?”
And one by one, the frogs decided to return down to the foot of the mountain. All but one frog returned to the ground. The one remaining frog kept on climbing..and climbing..and climbing, until he finally reached the top of the mountain.
Now guess!! Why did he and not the other frogs manage to reach the top despite the negative voices that surrounded him?
Answer: He was deaf. BE the deaf frog, ignore the naysayers and don’t let negative voices (internal or external) determine your ability to go after what you want.
Take daily action
With your SMART goals written down, take daily steps towards your vision. Even the smallest step forward will take you closer to your desired destination.
Always keep your vision and your goals in sight, no matter how dark the night is, the stars are always shining through.
It is most challenging when everything around you seems to work against you, but that is the time when we need to stay focused on that star. Don’t let it fall.
One of my weaknesses that I’m trying my best to improve upon is patience. Things don’t happen overnight. Learning how to play the piano didn’t take me one single lesson, but hours and hours and hours of practice, sweat and aching fingers. Learning to play a musical instrument teaches you many things. One thing is that it doesn’t matter how good you are, because you can always improve. What matters is to enjoy the process, have fun and never compare yourself with Mozart, Bach and Beethoven.